Take me home – 2013

I’ve not gone out much lately
Cos I’ve been feeling really down
So as it was a lovely day
I took the journey into town

I walked around some of the shops
And I was actually having fun
Brought some bits and pieces
And had a coffee when I was done

Then everything just fell apart
It all came crashing down
I was choking, I couldn’t breathe
I thought that I would drown

In the sea of all the people
I felt so incredibly small
Like a child, who’d lost its mother
They were all so loud and tall

I looked around, nowhere to run
I can’t be out here all alone
Where did this feeling come from
I really need to hurry home

Nobody knew what I was feeling
All my screams were in my head
No way was I getting the bus back
So I called a cab instead

It took over me so quickly
Sort of a panic attack I guess
Oh well, doctors in the morning
Although I know he’ll say its stress

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6 thoughts on “Take me home – 2013

  1. that’s what they’ll say for sure. but it’s a form of depression, agoraphobia, that comes out of nowhere for no particular reason. people who haven’t experienced it don’t have a clue when you try to explain it. you’ve done well to explain it, and I’ve been there.

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  2. I know exactly what you were feeling. I recently ventured out for an overnight event for the American Cancer Society. I went in memory of my mom. Anyway, I spent the night with several thousand people at the zoo. By the next morning, my brain was running around in circles, my limbs were tingling and shaking, breathing fast. I needed to find a bus and get home, I was having a panic attack. I probably will not put myself through that again, it was so hard on me physically (I have MS), and mentally, as I suffer from mental illness as well. I eventually made it home, and crawled into my nice, warm bed, where I stayed for about the next four hours.

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  3. Sorry to hear that your night didn’t go as expected. I can only imagine how you felt.
    Your ever so brave though, just the thought of being surrounded by several thousand people would have given me a heart attack.
    I’m glad you made it home safely.
    Don’t give up 🙂

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  4. Most of us — anyone who’s experinced a major trauma (grief) in our lives can identify with this. Kudos to you for going out, for giving it a try, and for doing so well! Tiny steps forward — one step at a time. You do such a great job putting your thoughts and feelings on paper!

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