How can I leave – 2013

I got this tightness
In my chest
And it seems to worsen
With every breath

It’s like a darkness
Beneath my skin
I can feel the scars
Where it has been

I never know
When it will strike
I feel sick and
Lose my appetite

I lose sight of who
I’m supposed to be
As my anxiety
Takes over me

I wanna run from it
I don’t care where to
But how can I leave
When it wants to come too

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49 thoughts on “How can I leave – 2013

  1. Does writing about the feelings help you work through them or make them more vivid….or both? I have not had these feelings so curiosity is getting the better of me. Hope you don’t mind me asking.

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    • Of course I don’t mind.
      The poem of the moment always makes me sad but I find writing about them gives me some sort of release, like talking to someone I suppose when I feel I’m alone.
      When I read the older ones they make me smile as I feel a lot better then I did back then.
      I also try to write about the good stuff too which is why I have a few different categories on the blog. I hope this has answered your question, if not, please free to e-mail me at darkyblue@outlook.com and I’ll be happy to answer any questions you might have.
      Take care
      DB

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      • Your answer was great. Thank you so much. It sucks you have to feel it at all, but the inspiration it seems to provide you is wonderful for the rest of us. Kind of a double edged sword I guess. At least you (we) have the other categories to keep things in balance. Thank you for the reply.

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  2. I stopped in to say thank you again for reading my work. Reading yours is hard for me, it’s so raw and emptiness is something I remember from a long time ago. The one thing I’ll tell you is that I can see that you’ve got courage, and any game you can score you can beat. Don’t wait for somebody who thinks you’re Good to give you what you need, you’re the one that’s full and it’s them that need to feed. Just remember it is only the precious heart that can be broken.

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    • It was my pleasure to visit your blog and it won’t be the last time you see me there 🙂
      I understand what you are saying. I do have good days, some very good days in fact when I write silly or inspirational stuff but like you said there will always be someone to put you down. It’s whether we allow them to or not.;-) x

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      • I understand what you’re saying and it’s true. Every year I get farther from believing anything but that they are unwell. I already knew they were unkind, but now I also know that wrong I used to believe I somehow deserved unkindness, as if I somehow provoked everyone around me and was responsible for their reactions. Now I know that no one deserves cruelty, unkindness, or abuse. Of course I have to admit I live very far away from the nearest neighbor deep in the woods at the end of the last dirt Road, which makes things easier.

        Thank you for stopping in yet again I appreciate your time.

        Alex

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        • When at our lowest I think we all think that we deserve any cruelty or unkindness showed toward us. Funny how we all have different levels of depression/anxiety but we all feel the same way.
          It was one of the reasons that I started my blog, so I could show others that they were not alone and that there were others that felt and understood their pain
          I’m glad you stopped by. It’s always nice to meet new people 🙂
          Take care and have a great day x

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      • What you say is true I think part of courage has to be accepting that while light draws beautiful things it also draws the beasts from the edges of the darkness to seek prey. I wish you well. Alex

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  3. Thank you for reading my page. I have had, and still have, more anxiety issues than those around me, it seems. I’ve been doing a nutritional protocol for almost 2 yrs. now, called GAPS, it’s for digestive issues–it seems digestion and emotions are intimately connected, and lately I’ve noticed that tight feeling in my chest as lessening, and with it, much of the anxiety and fear. I can take a full breath again more often. Just thought I’d share that with you.

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    • Hi Gary.
      Depression/anxiety can be such a long struggle and not one that everyone wins unfortunately so I’m glad that you have found something that seems to work for you.
      I might google GAPS and see what it’s all about as I’ve never heard of it.
      Thankyou for stopping by and taking the time to comment, I appreciate it 😀

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  4. Very powerful, makes the reader cringe when reading those words, and can´t feel but sad about that situation. Very well expressed. If your talking about yourself, then I hope you´re doing better.

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